THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF A MINDSET
A GUIDE TO THE JIGSAW PUZZLE OF SELF-ESTEEM
Written by Dr. Madiha Khan
Understanding your value as a person and appreciating your worth can add to positive performance, higher achievements, a sense of contentment, healthier relationships, and overall positivity in life. When this understanding or appreciation is lost, you begin to regard yourself as having lower worth than others. For most people, problems of self-esteem start developing in childhood, which may be due to constant disapproval, criticism, or humiliation. While for some, they may develop self-esteem issues as adults due to an unhealthy social or work environment and toxic relationships.
At some point, it becomes important to consider and analyze everything we have ever learned about what makes a person better than another and maybe unlearn some of the concepts that we have acquired either from our culture, society, or family. It is important to remind ourselves that essentially each one of us is equal and has the same worth. If someone has more money, status, or fame than us, does that mean their self-worth should be more than ours? Self-worth comes from within; a feeling of security and satisfaction, and is about owning and accepting ourselves as we are. This should not prevent us from growing and aspiring to be better versions of ourselves but at the same time being confident and content with where we are at that particular point in our lives. It is also important to remember that self-esteem will not always stay the same. It could transiently change over time, becoming low or high, depending on the circumstances in life. However, if the baseline self-esteem is healthy, such temporary fluctuations can be considered manageable.
In today’s world where social media has become a big part of our lives, if we’re not careful about how we use it and how we let it impact us, there is a chance of developing self-esteem issues resulting from its excessive use. When we are constantly looking at other people and their lives, we start comparing. Even if it’s not intentional, we might still compare our lives to those of others, subconsciously. Adding to that, the comparison of how much attention and “love” or “likes” other people might be getting can again make us feel low or worthless.
While having low self-esteem can be quite detrimental to our mental wellbeing, having too much self-love or self-worth is not healthy either. To lead a balanced life with fulfillment and contentment, understanding the right amount of self-worth is highly important.
Are you able to relate to these characteristics of people with strong self-esteem?
- Accept yourself as you are.
- Not ashamed or embarrassed to own your weaknesses.
- Unafraid of setbacks and failures.
- Not feel inferior to others.
- Know how to be assertive and set boundaries.
- Realize the difference between confidence and arrogance.
- Able to voice opinions and are not afraid of confrontation or conflict.
Madiha Khan, MD - Psychiatrist
Dr. Madiha Khan is an American board certified psychiatrist skilled in evidence based psychiatry, psychotherapy and women’s mental health.
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